Doing Galaxy Brain Stuff, You Guys.

You are S-M-R-T Smart. You’re Smaaaaaht! Not dumb like everyone says.

You believe what liars say, if it makes you look good, or your opposition look bad, because winning is the only truth to you.

You rely on numbers on a screen carefully curated by fallible people who don’t want to seem fallible, because it would negatively impact the numbers on screens that they identify as their net worth.

You’re brilliant if you follow the latest, hot, new, sexy, speculative science on the bleeding edge of technology that almost nobody understands and isn’t independently verifiable but is promulgated as established and settled by the expert priest class, by profit-seeking power repeaters in the media mockingbird class to establish a veneer of social legitimacy, because the category of sciencey stuff has status in social circles that could be leveraged for your own benefit, regardless of any known or unknown deleterious second-order effects.

You’re absolutely galaxy brain level genius if you can engage in the performative contradictions necessary to support category errors as self-evident tautologies.

Your gift for rhetoric is self-evident if you can define words as their opposite and vacillate between definitions, context and connotations within a conversation or even a single sentence to arrive at continuous rhetorical victory over facts.

You’re the mindful-est monkey if you hold views by faith while dismissing faith-based claims categorically, because your personal views are actually supported by statistical probability and reliance on a preexisting fallible structure of credentialism, without actual proof or guarantee, masterfully appropriating the halo of legitimacy from irrelevant yet unarguable truths axiomatic to fields like mathematics and physics.

Teach us your ways, so we can be smart like you, not just jealous of how much you’re winning.